I saw this quote the other day- “If you love a medical are worker, pray daily that God will renew they passion, joy, and contentment in their calling. Because while the world fights over a shot, the medical field is fighting to keep their desire to serve.” I am unsure who wrote this, but all credit goes to he or she. In the past year, nothing has struck as true as this. We nurses, and other medical professionals alike, are tired, burnt out, and broken. We don’t want to quit, but at this point we don’t know what to do. After a year amidst a global pandemic, now “coming out” on the other side with so many still arguing the reality of this disease, we are broken more now than ever. We have survived the anxiety of navigating a novel disease, the isolation of working within hospitals the past year without support services, the tragedy of lives lost amidst such an isolated year and the mental health crisis that continues as a result of the pandemic. Now we are struggling to keep up with the extreme shortage of nurses just as a second wave of the coronavirus comes back around. We are tired, and at a loss of what to do.
We know that nursing is our calling, but we are broken. We are surviving the days, one day at at time, but the joy is harder to find. We are not depressed, but we are blue. We are still sorting through the tragedy of the past year, and discouraged at what the world continues to argue around us. We are losing our desire to serve and people want to leave now more than ever. If this is you, I see you, I am you. I get it, because just seven years ago when I started this profession my desire was so strong- and now I feel that I am fighting to survive. I am fighting to remember why I chose this profession and why I shouldn’t leave.
We need each other, we need to speak honestly about how we are feeling, to know we are not alone. We need to dig deep to remember why we chose nursing, and come together to support each other any way we can. We cannot wait for the world, or management, or executives to come save us, because nobody is. We cannot abandon each other, because we are all we have. That purpose, that calling, it didn’t just go away, but it’s clouded by all we have encountered this past year. Leaving the bedside may be for you, and if so there is absolutely no shame in that, but if like me you are simply at a loss, know you are not alone. Know that the discomfort, the long and heavy days, the general sense of “bleh” toward life is something many of us are feeling. So many of us have simply retreated into our own worlds while in survival mode that we have perhaps disconnected from those we need most: each other. If you are like me, you didn’t just choose nursing, but were called to it for one reason or another. You are not just a nurse, but being a nurse is so engrained and entwined in who you are. The way you see life, the way you live, the way you love, it’s all a part of it.
I know that if I were to walk away today, I would regret it, but sometimes it seems so tempting. I am tired, we are tired, we are burnt out and we are broken. But, I choose to believe we can come out stronger, and perhaps if we are patient just long enough the cracks within will fill with something more beautiful than before. We are all broken, and that’s where the light gets in. And although that light it dims and the joy feels so hard to find, I choose to believe it is still there.
It will take coming together, it will take digging deep, and it will take time, but I believe it will be worth it and I think you will too. Stay strong my friends, and know you are not alone. We are all in this together, always have been, and always will be.